This subject is a jumble in my brain. I want to share so many things, but I want to keep it short and to the point. Overall, changing my major is now a part of my testimony of faith. This time last year my heart was restless. If I'm being honest, my heart had been restless since the news of my grandfather's cancer in the later months of 2017. From August 2017 to October 2018 was a huge transitioning stage for me. I was in a period of deep hurt and mourning for my grandfather, but I also was not happy with my career or my school. At this point I knew I needed a complete 180, but I didn't know how. The opportunity came up to spend my summer in 2018 on the Cape. While it seemed I was running away from my problems it was a vital time for me to get away and just breath. I had quit my job and finally transferred schools, but I still felt a weight. The college at my university has three majors, and my current major at the time (Retail with an emphasis in Fashion Merchandising) was something I no longer felt excitement in. I had heard about the Sport & Entertainment Management program, but never thought anything about it. Until the late spring of 2018. Part of my time away in the summer allowed me to work a different job other than retail, and it opened my eyes. You have to understand that the decision to change majors was a decision that I chewed on for months. In my mind, I was throwing everything I had worked for previously away. I knew nothing (still know very little) about sports so how could I make it in the industry? In the beginning of classes in August 2018 I walked to my first fashion class and instantly felt dread the whole walk to, during, and from class. I knew at that moment it was time to take the leap. Let me tell you, I have never been more at peace than I did saying yes to the sport & entertainment industry. It was a leap of faith because I no longer felt in control. I was confident in my knowledge and learning in the fashion industry, but sports is an industry that would humble me.
Flash forward to the present. I have never been happier. I still know very little about sports, but this industry forces me out of my comfort zone everyday. I never thought I would be dressing in business attire for my career, yet here I am. What is my theory of why this has worked out so well for me? Because I'm not in control of my future. Yes, as a Christian that is completely cliche and something I know fellow Christians would say "duh" to. I would think that a lot growing up when it came to my dad's career. He constantly has to rely on job security in the Lord because it's contract work, so most jobs only last a few months to a year. In fashion I felt secure and knew I would always have a job. In sports, I have to prove myself at every moment and hear the word "no" many times. I no longer have security in my future, but it has been a blessing because I can take it moment by moment. I feel more free in this career path, and it's due to the fact that I have to test my faith everyday. The freedom comes because by putting my faith to test I know whatever happens is the Lord's will for my life at work. I don't have a pressure on my shoulders when something goes in my career path. I no longer have my confidence in my career but in my faith, and it has truly been life changing.
Why I changed the name of my blog:
I have decided to change the name of my blog to something more personal. My story for the past two years has always brought me to The Parable of the Lost Sheep in Luke. In fact, it's a story that would come to mind randomly throughout the two years. I felt like I was the one sheep wandering off and feeling lost. It is not on the extreme level most people think in that story, but the Lord brought me back to the ninety-nine.
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